Made in China

The inscrutable Chinese

Before I even knew it, we had bought a Chinese product! That was the easy part. The difficult part was knowing how to use it. Here is the Instruction Set that came with it. To make sense of this, you need to be a master of Mandarin-Chinese or a linguistic genius. (I tried Microsoft Spell-check, but their syntax interpretations were hilarious). Before I tell you the rest of the story, have a shot at deciphering it ( I assure you that I have not altered even a comma from the original) :

NoticeAnd here’s the rest of the story…

Although our sons were grown up and practicing professionals, my wife wanted us to celebrate Deepavali in traditional style: meaning, “bring in the fireworks”! I hate standing in queues outside the fireworks shop, but my son ordered everything on the internet. (Exactly like it happens in Amazon’s TV ad). We agreed that ordering Chinese stuff for an Indian Deepavali would be incongruous and unpatriotic. So my son specifically ordered all items that were branded Indian fireworks made in Sivakasi, Tamilnadu. Yet, he was remiss about one item which was called “wishing lantern”. It turned out to be hopelessly Chinese (with that mysterious Instruction Set). I checked (where else?) on the internet. Apparently it is the Chinese tradition to light a paper lantern and let it fly on festival days, like a Montgolfier Balloon. That seemed quite cute: as the lamp begins to float in air, one is supposed to make a wish, and the Gods would make it come true (so the tradition goes). Our only wish was that it would fly; alas, it came crashing down by its own weight and burst into flames. May be Chinese Gods do not honour Indian wishes? I am even more convinced that I should not buy ersatz Chinese stuff!

Hope & Despair

chineseA

Hope: (1) My son prepares the solid fuel for the flight (2)Yet, the heat is insufficient— so more local fuel is added to the fire (3) Finally, we make a valiant effort to launch it with muscle power!

chineseBAnd Despair: (4) My son holds the lantern desperately to prevent it from falling down (5) —but gravity is stronger than hot-air! (6) The lantern crashes and bursts into flames!

Clearly we are not the Montgolfier brothers!

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3 thoughts on “Made in China

  1. I have a sneaky feeling that the instructions were translated from Mandarin to English using the Google Translator 🙂

  2. It is the effort that counts 🙂
    I was rooting for you the whole way, but with your writing and explanations throughout this post, I do have to say this was very enjoyable and while the end results of “The lantern crashes and bursts into flames!” was not good news, I did have to laugh a bit!

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